Friday, December 21, 2007

December 21st

December 21st, 2004 was the winter solstice, just like today. It was also the day my Dad died.

Julia has been talking a lot about her Pop recently, knowing that this day was coming. The other night she said to me, "Mommy, you know Pop's star is the first one that comes out every night." I like to believe it is true.


ColorJoy LynnH said...

There is no way to make losing a parent easy. I lost my dad in 1973. He was 40, I was 14. I still talk about him often. At holidays the stories come out in full force, mostly funny ones. Good ones.

At holiday time it feels bigger to remember losses. Just when the radio is blaring "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" it is difficult to take the feelings which come in unexpected waves. Or *expected* waves, for that matter.

Remember to nurture yourself. Some people will understand, some will not.

I am so glad your daughter can remember your dad. What a gift she gave you by naming his star. Perfect.

bernie said...

How beautiful Julia's words are.

mama to a&n said...

I just had to come out of lurking to give you a ((hug)), December 21 is the day my father died too.


BTW I can't remember how I found your blog but I love the pictures of your farm.

Gammy aka Peggy said...

Prayers and hugs!!!!

Bonnie said...

My mother passed away on the 23rd four years ago ~~ yes, I miss her.
May the Lord pour His Comfort and Joy upon you this Christmas!
O Come Let Us Adore Him.


Willow said...

Hugs to Julia and you!

I lost both of my parents, eight years apart in the two days preceding Valentine's Day (try ordering funeral wreaths on Feb 14th) and I considered never celebrating Valentine's Day again, but my children, who loved their grandparents, would have gone through life with the same sad reminder. Now they even as adults talk with smiles about their grandparents.
Don't forget but remember with smiles.

Peg-woolinmysoup said...

Children get 'it' better than we adults! I hope Julia does not mind me sharing the first star of the night - it reminds me of some of my niece!

tut-tut said...

Frankly, this is the first year I've felt holiday-ish since 2001, so I know how long it takes.

Marie said...

My dad will be gone 3 years on this January 3. The holiday season now finds me walking through those final days with him all over again, one of the few times of year when dates become easy benchmarks for memories, making the loss more poignant. Maybe his star, which is also our family tradition, twinkles besides your dad's.

knittingiris said...

Just came from posting to my blog after a couple of days of being unable, for some reason, to upload pictures.
I think, if you click to enlarge the picture there, and look closely, Julia (and Kristin), you'll see your Pop's star, just above the mountains, towards the left side of the picture.
I took that pic yesterday evening, December 21st, facing east. Behind me, in the west, you could still see a bit of the glow from the setting sun. It was much lighter than it appears in the picture and that was the first star in the sky.
I feel lucky, now, to have seen his star, too.
Both my grandfather (before I was born) and C's grandfather (12 years ago) died within a day of Christmas.
Emotions run deep around the holidays regardless, but particularly around thoughts of loss, whether losses of the past, present, or future, it seems.
Oh dear, now I'm teary eyed again, for the umpteenth time over the past several days. That's just normal and OK this time of year, isn't it?
What a sweet girl you are, Julia.

tina said...

I actually lost both of my parents around Christmas, thankfully not together. It is just flat out puredee HARD!

I love the fact that your star shines for you not only at this time of year to give you comfort but at every time of year to give you strength.


Big Hugs----

kathyann said...

Don't know how I came across you but I'm so glad I did.Can we all have a group hug as I think we need it as we all have the same thing in common with each other and it doesn't matter how long ago our loved ones passed away it doesn't get any easier at this time of lovely dad died at 6.20 on christmas morning,my youngest daughter had her first birthday on 2nd jan and she will be 16 this time so I am sending you all my love and even though we wish everyone a happy christmas it is tinged with sadness ,God bless from Kathyann and the girls at meg's mum's muffins

Anonymous said...

Yes, this certainly is a time of mixed emotions. Am so glad you are sharing your joys as well as your sorrows with us. Janet

salmonpoetry said...

it is amazing, how many of us have lost parents at this time of year. my mom was born on the autumn equinox, and died last dec. 22nd, the darkest day of that year. it has been hard this year for me and my daughter, when candy canes and christmas trees are reminders of death rather than celebration.

i have just found your blog and love the photos of the sheep and the stories.